When we learn to change our selves, through love, integrity and acceptance, we begin to add value to our own personal selves. And when we add value to our personal selves, we now have something to give others. We cannot give what we don’t have; that includes a strong character. So rather than trying to change the world first, begin changing from within first. Change for the world will automatically happen.

Don’t wait for life to happen. Make it happen. Do it now. The power of choice is yours!

You have a choice on who you want to be and how you want to feel.

When is your now?

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We have only this moment sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake-” M. Beyon Ray

What we give, we get, as the old saying goes.  When was the last time you lent a hand, or gave someone a shoulder to cry on?  We all need each other, especially in times like these.  Let your light shine on someone’s life today.  Call up an old friend and find out what’s new, or get back in touch with someone who made a difference in your life; invite your sister or best friend to lunch.  You’ll be surprise how good it makes you feel, and you’ll never guess the impact it has on someone else to know you’re thinking of them. My family lives all over the country and I rarely get to see them.  My sisters live in the four corners of this country; my mother lives out in Lake Havasu City, AZ which is very difficult to get to.  I make the trips, once or twice a year, to see them.  They’re all so busy with their lives and I am with mine, but I make the time.  You can too.  All too soon the years fly by and you’ll wish you had connected more often.  Try it, even if it’s just a phone call. We have to stay connected in order to feel connected to our own life.  Sympathy is a gift you give when someone is having a difficult or devastating time; kindness is a gift with no expectations in return. But the rewards you feel in your heart can make your day.

Ben Fletcher at the University of Hertfordshire in the United Kingdom devised a study to get people to break their usual habits. Each day the subjects picked a different option from poles of contrasting behaviors — lively/quiet, introvert/extrovert, reactive/proactive — and behaved according to this assignment.

So an introverted person, for example, would act as an extrovert for an entire day. Additionally, twice weekly, they had to stretch to behave in a way outside their usual life pattern – eating or reading something they would never have done.

What do you think was the biggest change in the group?

The remarkable finding was that after four months, the subjects had lost an average of eleven pounds. And six months later, almost all had kept the weight off; some continued to lose weight. This was not a diet, but a study focusing on change and its impact.

The Underlying Principle

Requiring people to change routine behavior makes them actually think about decisions rather than habitually choosing a default mode without consideration. In having to actually process decisions actively, they exercised their choice and decision-making abilities, extending to other choices such as what to eat, and what not to. Once becoming aware of actively making choices, they could decide what’s in their best interest.

“The box” most of us are in is the result of programming and conditioning. And it is self-created in adulthood. Recognizing yourself as the author, the creator of your story challenges an assumed model and leads to the deeper question, “How do I create something else instead?” And, “What will the ‘something else’ be?” Coach outside the box and watch your clients flourish!

Dave Krueger is Dean of Curriculum at Coach Training Alliance and CEO of MentorPath™, an executive coaching firm helping professionals write the next chapter of their life

What you have done that you feel guilty about?  It’s easy to spot the trait of guilt if you have the right handwriting sample.  Don’t freak out yet, we’ll talk about how to address guilt in a minute.

Ask yourself, “What am I doing and thinking that is the result of unresolved guilt?”  Perhaps your career or your relationships are suffering and you don’t know why.  You’ve tried everything you can do to “fix” the circumstances in your life, but still, you’re mystified and confused as to why you are not more successful.  So many people don’t realize that unresolved guilt can hold them back from the true happiness and success they want and deserve.

What does guilt look like in handwriting?  It is a combination of strokes and traits that shows up in the writing. The small letter “t” is most common stroke where it shows up, although it can occur almost anywhere in the writing where the stroke turns back on itself and goes backwards, like the t-bar, or an ending stroke of a letter like “p” or “g”.

Whenever guilt enters the mindset, it stops progress.  Here are a few steps you can take to help rid yourself of limiting beliefs:

• Realize that you are responsible for your own thoughts. You, and only you, have control over what you think, how you react to situations, and what impact the past has on your thinking
• Make a commitment to block or stop negative thoughts about yourself. When negative thoughts start to creep in, tell yourself something positive about yourself.  You have to do the work, only you can change this pattern of thinking.
• Thoughts are powerful, what you think about manifests in your life. If you continually think, “I’m not good enough, I can’t do that.” Your subconscious will take that as a command and make it come true.  On the other hand, if you change that thought simply to “I am good enough, I can do that!” you will find opportunities begin to present themselves; you have new ideas and a renewed interest in changing your circumstances.
• Stop over-analyzing the situation. Sometimes our thinking goes around in circles so much we lost sight of the real issue.  Trust that you are doing the best you can and acknowledge yourself for that.
• Follow through. What good does it do to start the engine of your car, and then leave it running parked in the driveway?  Good intentions don’t get you where you want to go, but action does!  Action overcomes fear.  Action overcomes doubt.  Action opens the door to new possibilities.